Discover The Secret To Loving & Lasting Relationships!
A Tale Of Two Women
After a year together, 49-year old Kathy recently discovered, most painfully, her boyfriend has been living two lives. One life did not include her. They go out to dinner, take trips to fun places, entertain their friends with meals they prepare together; basically she was living her dream life with the man she loved. They even bought a puppy together! In her mind, everything was perfect, or so she thought.
Actually, the hard truth is her boyfriend was also involved with another much younger woman. Kathy was so devastated she could hardly believe what she was was being told by her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. All this time, how could she have not seen what was happening right in front of her?
However, deep down inside, she had to admit to herself on a heart level...
- She did suspect something was wrong.
- She begins to shame herself for being so weak and afraid to confront him with her earlier suspicions because she is terrified to be alone.
- A warm body, even a cheating one, is better than no body at all, right?!?
Does Kathy's story sound familiar? Do you find yourself putting up with behavior that on the inside makes you sad or angry, but do or say nothing about it? You are not alone. We have been “programmed” for a long time to be the long-suffering mate, to stand by our man, no matter what. I'm all for standing by your man, but not when he's treating me like dirt.
Although we are living in a very modern and technological society, we remain in relationships long past their “expiration date” based on beliefs and societal expectation that may no longer have little or no meaning for us. Meaning, we miss or dismiss all the warning signs of an unsuitable partner. Where does this inevitably lead?
- It leads to heart break,
- Crying yourself to sleep at night,
- Starving yourself,
- Over-eating, etc.
Each woman has her own method to stuff or minimize her feelings frequently based on what she believes, although falsely, is the best way to be a partner.
People hear you on the level you speak to them from. Speak from your heart, and they will hear with theirs.
Across town, in another part of the city, 35-year old Barbara finds herself sitting alone in her new apartment staring at all her belongings, “her life” still packed in boxes. Moving out of the beautiful home she had shared with her husband of 10 years was hard enough, but how was she ever going to cope with the crushing heart break of her recent divorce?
She slowly pulls out her wedding album, the album she once was so proud of, and begins to remember the love, joy, and anticipation she and her husband shared on the day they joined their lives together. Now, it sits on her lap, a mocking reminder that her life and marriage had been based on an illusion, one she helped create. Barbara knew, really knew inside her heart it was her chronic “not feeling good enough” that has fueled her history of bad partner choices. Problem was, though, she did not know how to stop it. She was, in all honesty, feeling deeply lost and confused.
Barbara has been going back in her memories examining her marriage, over and over again and she just can't figure out what went wrong. How could she have married someone who turned out to be a complete stranger? How did she miss the signs? What does it say about her? While sitting there in an empty, semi-dark room of boxes, marriage album in her lap, Barbara swears off all relationships. “Their too painful!!!” she screams out loud to no one in particular...
But, is that really the solution?
Although these two women are fictional, they do represent many, many women who have in the past, or continue in the present to struggle with the emotional devastation that comes from:
- Dating challenges,
- Another relationship ending in feelings of rejection,
- Separation, and/or divorce.
What usually ends up happening is, many women will begin way too soon seeking out another relationship to fill the emptiness created by the last broken one. Have you done this? I'm guessing you may have, because it is a natural response when we're hurting, feeling alone, and rejected.
In general, we have a tendency to spend very little time wondering how we ended up in another impossible and hurtful relationship in the first place and rush head on into the next with very little understanding of why. Yikes!! What is likely to happen????
History repeating, that's what!
But, not always. There is the occasional savvy woman who has learned how to “Soul Dive” and Embrace Her Inner Lioness.
If you are sooooo done with repeating history and want to take charge of who you allow into your life, rather than any one who shows you the least bit of interest, then you are in the right place.
What's the point of being in a relationship if it always ends the same way? The key word being “ends”. Isn't it time you learned how to...
“Embrace Your Inner Lioness”
Your Inner Lioness is that beautiful, strong, intuitive, and loving part of you that knows who she is and what she wants. But, most importantly, what she DOES NOT want. That, my Dear, is the secret.
It is vital you become fully aware of what you don't want in a relationship. There are the obvious “deal breakers”, such as:
- He abuses substances,
- Married 6 times,
- Chronically unemployed.
But, there are any number of negative characteristics your new love interest may exhibit that for “some unknown” reason you begin to overlook. Sound familiar? After a while it becomes more difficult to overlook them and you begin to feel anxious, uncertain, confused, or scared. “OMG”, you think to yourself, “it's happening again!”
However, because you've been together for 6, 10, 12 months, maybe even years, you feel hesitant to rock the boat. Why?
- Is it possible you don't feel you deserve to be treated better?
- You're afraid to be alone?
- Only you can answer that.
On the flip side, many women have no clue what they truly want or what will make them really happy. Many base their lives and relationships on the subtle and not so subtle suggestions coming from family, friends and the world at large. No wonder we are so damn confused.
In addition, with the advent of technology and one's ability to meet their new love interest online has created its own set of problems. It can literally make your head spin, resulting in grabbing the first “acceptable” candidate that comes along. Why? Because dating can be a real pain in the you know what! And so, the cycle begins again, and again, and again.
That is until you discover and realize...
You're unique with a unique history and set of life circumstances that makes you, well, you. The truth is, deep down, in the most sacred part of you is your heart's desire. Your inner knowing is fully aware of what would make you abundantly happy and content.
However, our society tends to overshadow this part of ourselves, our true self, drowning it out with ideas and suggestions that are anything but helpful. These ideas and suggestions, or what ever you wish to call them are...
- Anxiety-provoking, and ...
- Leaves a woman feeling at times hopeless, at other times, frustrated, lonely, and afraid.
What's a woman to do?????
Well, if you're still reading, then maybe it's time you ask yourself the following..
- Am I Ready to move out of my imprisoning comfort zone and into a life that makes total sense to me because it is my soul's blueprint?
- Am I Ready to take back control of my life?
- Am I Ready to let all the nonsense go?
If you are More Than Ready, go ahead and click on the scheduling button to schedule a complimentary 20-minute telephone consultation with me. Let's chat and see where you're at. Maybe you've been ready to make powerful changes for a few weeks, months, or even years. It does not matter how long. What matters most is your taking action NOW.
A life-changing action that can lead to FINALLY ...
- Speaking Your Truth.
- Setting Healthy Boundaries.
- Never Settling for anything Less Than Your Heart's Desire.
- Finding the love you so deserve.
- And most beautiful of all...Embracing Your Inner Lioness.
Places to Get Started
About Sally Raiford
No matter if you've worked with a therapist in the past or this is your first time, deciding to enter therapy can be scary and intimidating.
Finding just the right therapist is crucial and not to be taken lightly.
You're sharing parts of your life that are private and often very sensitive.
Fear of being judge keeps many women out of therapy.
I get it. It's not easy opening up to a stranger.
By the time you're done reading this page you will clearly know if I am the right therapist for you. Alright, let's jump...