Recent breakup? Heart broken? At a loss for why your intimate partners keep disappointing you?
Do you want to know a secret? Your partners are not disappointing you.
Your disappointment may more likely be a result of:
- Fear of being alone
- Fear of abandonment
- People pleasing behaviors
- Low self-esteem
- Feeling “not good enough”
- Settling, once again, so as to avoid being alone
The reasons listed above are not all-encompassing of why we become disappointed in our relationships. But, they are some of the top contenders.
39-year old Cheryl can’t recall a time when she wasn’t catering to the needs of everyone around her. People just love having Cheryl around because she is “so darn nice”. But, there’s a dark side, a price to Cheryl’s niceness. While most people she knows and loves are on the receiving end of her generosity, very, very rarely, do they appreciate her kindness and return in kind. This has become more and more apparent to her concerning her relationship with Chip, her boyfriend of three years. She literally does everything for him. Her “care-taking” increased 100% when they moved in together 1.5 years ago.
Since that time, she does all his laundry, cooks all the meals, cleans the house, plans all their outings and vacations, manages their finances, and works full-time. It makes me tired just thinking about it. How does Chip reciprocate? Well, he thanks her once in a while, which thrills her to no end because she just wants to please him so much. To make herself so indispensable that he’ll never leave her. Say What?!?
But, you know what? Several situations are developing within this setting. First of all, Chip is loving all the attention and care-taking Cheryl is giving him. Who wouldn’t? However, after a while he begins to get bored. Sound familiar? If this feels like it’s hitting a little too close to home, keep reading.
Why does he become bored? Maybe because there’s no challenge, no spark. Men, in general, like a woman with a bit of spirit, who stand up for themselves, who push back when they feel they are being taken for granted or advantage of. Good for them. No one, men or women, wants to feel they don’t matter or taken for granted. Think about it, if we’re given everything we want without any kind of effort on our part we become bored and restless. We, as humans, require challenge in order to grow. If it’s too easy, we often times walk away, seeking out that person, place, or thing that challenges us, makes us feel alive.
Second of all, Cheryl is setting up a no-win situation between she and Chip. While he is becoming bored and restless, she is growing more and more resentful. However, she feels powerless to speak up and challenge his lack of support or to stop herself from the care-taking cycle. Fear of being alone or not feeling “good enough” to be treated well are common root causes that fuel over-giving behaviors and ultimately lead to disappointment. People-pleasing and exhibiting chronic desperation (e.g. over-giving, allowing one’s self to be disrespected, etc.), to keep a toxic relationship going are such a waste of life and time.
In case you are wondering, Cheryl and Chip are a fictional couple. But, they illustrate what is occurring in many relationships across Tampa, Florida, the state, the country, and the world. There is a better way to find and engage in healthy and respectful relationships. You don’t have to be a doormat any longer. Pick yourself up off the floor, dust yourself off. It’s time to begin the journey toward self-respect. Confidence Creator Counseling can teach you…
- How to speak up for yourself in the most loving, but powerful way possible.
- How to be absolutely comfortable setting healthy boundaries.
- How to say “No” without the need to explain yourself.
- When and how to walk away from toxic people without apology. .
It can be kinda scary to Embrace Your Inner Lioness, because during the therapy process long-held beliefs about yourself will come to light to be examined and ultimately challenged. What frequently becomes obvious is that these “beliefs” are holding you back from finding and remaining in a loving and respectful relationship. Our beliefs either support us as we move toward what we want, or block us from it. The question that you will need to ask yourself is…
Does this belief support my moving toward a loving and abundant life or is it creating chronic emotional and mental pain?
Most of us never challenge our beliefs. Let me assure you, when we walk through life on automatic pilot (that is, never challenging our thoughts and beliefs), we are setting ourselves up to experience our lives as a re-run of what came before. When I say challenge, I am referring to asking the question that states “Is this a belief that I generated on my own OR did this come from an experience or person from my past, such as, when I was a child”?
Working with me at Confidence Creator Counseling can significantly help you uncover old negative thinking patterns that have been running your relationships into the ground. Isn’t it time you took back charge of your life? Step into the power you were born with?
Face your fears and realize they are all illusions often times created by…
- An unkind word
- An unfortunate event
- An authority figure from your past, that you have forgotten. It’s buried deep within you, but you are not consciously aware of its far-reaching negative impact on your life.
During the therapy conversation, there may be opportunities to utilize hypnosis to find out where a negative belief came from. In doing so, the belief can be released with ease and replaced with one that is supportive, true, and powerful.
Are you ready to move forward?
Well, if you’re still reading, then maybe it’s time you ask yourself the following..
- Am I Ready to move out of my imprisoning comfort zone and into a life that makes total sense to me because it is my soul’s blueprint?
- Am I Ready to take back control of my life?
- Am I Ready to let all the nonsense go?
If you are More Than Ready, go ahead and click on the scheduling button to schedule a complimentary 20-minute telephone consultation with me. Let’s chat and see where you’re at. Maybe you’ve been ready to make powerful changes for a few weeks, months, or even years. It does not matter how long. What matters most is your taking action NOW.
A life-changing action that can lead to FINALLY …
- Speaking Your Truth.
- Setting Healthy Boundaries.
- Never Settling for anything Less Than Your Heart’s Desire.
- Finding the love you so deserve.
- And most beautiful of all…Embracing Your Inner Lioness.